


Going On

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Caretaking, Character Death, Death, Death from Old Age, Depression, Disability, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Hearing Voices, Loss of Limbs, Love, M/M, Marriage, Old Age, Old Tony Stark, Physical Disability, Tony Stark-centric, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is old and ready to pass away to be with his true love. </p><p>Set in 2058. Tony Stark is 85 years old and married to Steve Rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going On

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've been thinking about writing for some time. Part of me wishes this is what death is like.

“You’ll be with me soon enough, I can assure you,” a disembodied voice said.

Tony sighed. “I know… Is there a way you can speed up the process? Let me tell you, living like this isn’t my idea of a picnic in the park.”

“Enjoy the time you have left and stop thinking about what will come… It could be minutes, days, weeks, years. I can’t tell you when, because that would be breaking one of the most essential rules,” the voice answered.

“Oh yeah, whatever. You just want to keep me stuck like this because you enjoy it,” Tony said.

“Darling, I hate seeing you like this but I can’t control your fate. It’s already decided and-“

A male voice called out and the voice talking to Tony was gone.

***

“Tony, I have your medicine ready!” Steve’s voice echoed through the house.

Tony grumbled. “… Coming, Steve. You always have the worst timing ever.”

With a heavy sigh Tony put his hands on both wheels and wheeled himself to the kitchen. Steve was holding a small cup of water and a handful of pills. There were four: a long white one for arthritis, a thick pink tablet for heart disease, a multivitamin, and a large cream colored pill for a bacterial urinary tract infection. Tony hated taking his pills and would have “accidentally” neglected to do so if Steve wasn’t around. He didn’t feel like a life was worth living if he had to be constantly medicated, but it wasn’t Tony’s time and he tried to keep that in mind.

Steve handed Tony the pills and the cup of water and the brunet popped them in his mouth and quickly swallowed. The urinary tract infection pill was bitter and left a nasty, dry taste in Tony’s mouth but he tried his best not to complain. He didn’t want to appear to be weak and unable to take his medicine by himself. It was already embarrassing enough that Steve had to carry him up to bed every night.

“I really hate to ask but-”

Steve smiled. “No need. I’ll take you up.”

Tony reached his frail, wrinkly arms up and Steve bent down to meet him. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and the blond put one arm around Tony’s waist and placed his other underneath Tony’s bottom. He held Tony close as he carefully carried him up the stairs and to the bedroom they shared. Steve gently placed Tony in bed and covered him up with blankets. When Tony was tucked in Steve got into his side of the bed and lay on his side to look at Tony.

“You still have your party hat on, you know that right,” Steve chuckled.

Tony grinned. “Yeah. Just wanted to keep the party going all night long.”

“Where’s the time gone? It seems like only yesterday you and I got married, and it’s been forty years… And happy eighty-fifth birthday,” Steve kissed Tony’s forehead.

“And even though I’m a wrinkly old man with a turkey waddle you still manage to love me. But then again, who could really compete with me? I’m the epitome of the ‘sexy grandpa,’” Tony said.

Steve pulled Tony close. “You would be if we had children…”

“Shoulda, coulda, woulda… I don’t regret it for a second. Well, sometimes. There’s no one to carry on my legacy.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. And we’ve talked about Pepper’s son carrying the torch. He’s old enough now and people miss Iron Man,” Steve replied.

“But they still have Captain America, and let’s face it you’re the better hero anyway,” Tony said.

Steve frowned. “Tony, you did so much good for this world, and still do. You give to charities, invest in alternative energies, and you’ve given my life more purpose and meaning than the suit ever did.”

“And so have you,” Tony said before shifting uncomfortably.

Without Tony having to ask, Steve slowly pulled away the blankets and sat down in front of the brunet’s thighs. Steve gently massaged the short stumps that remained of Tony’s legs. As Steve worked his magic, Tony sighed and put his pointy paper hat on the nightstand. The party was over.

***

Tony had to face the facts: he was old. Little of his past was around to comfort him. Most of his friends had passed on. Natasha and Clint burned to death when the Helicarrier was attacked and set fire to in 2017. Rhodey was killed during a visit to Russia in 2023 to discuss a treaty to end what later became known as “Putin’s War.” Nick Fury passed away from a heart attack in 2025.

The hardest death for Tony to cope with was Pepper’s. In 2030 she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Pepper had ovarian cancer and it spread to her lungs and brain, and by the time doctor’s found out what was wrong it was already too late. Pepper passed on a month later, survived by her husband Happy and their adopted five year old son Martin.

Not only was Tony left to grieve the loss of his nearest and dearest friend, but a year shy of his sixtieth birthday he experienced a tragic event of his own. Against the advice of his doctors and remaining loved ones Tony continued on as Iron Man. He was always in a lot of pain due to his worsening arthritis and his bones weren’t as strong as they used to be. Tony didn’t care, however; he was seeking out an end because he was tired of living. Sure Steve was great and he loved him, but the loss of Pepper weighed heavily on his heart and he was in a constant state of depression.

During a fight with Deadpool, who was hired to kill Happy and Martin by an ex-lover of Pepper’s, Tony thought he was finally going to pass on. The Iron Man suit was in bad shape from a previous run-in with another attack from Loki, and because of his depression Tony was unable to make the necessary repairs. Tony didn’t know it, but Deadpool had a new weapon; they were two small, round disks that glowed a bright red. Before Tony could react his foe threw the disks and they attached to the legs of Tony’s suit. They began to heat to an unbearable level, and while Tony’s suit could usually handle substantial temperatures this time was different. Whatever was in the weapon was able to melt the metal of his suit.  The metal of his Iron Man suit legs melted into Tony’s actual limbs. Tony passed out from the intense pain. The mercenary uttered some quip about Tony being “half the man he used to be” and took off.

There was no way the doctors could pry the metal away from his legs, and as Tony lay unconscious in a hospital bed Steve had to make a life changing decision for his husband. Steve agreed that it was best to have Tony’s legs amputated. Surgeons amputated Tony’s legs just a little below his hip, and the surgery was a success.

When Tony awoke, he panicked when he could no longer feel anything. He slowly pulled the blankets away and was horrified to find that he no longer had his lower limbs. Steve was there to hold his hand and explain the decision he had to make for Tony. Even though Tony was saddened that instead of dying he was forced to live the rest of his life with impairment, it eased the pain to see Steve’s eyes so full of relief and joy. Tony decided to suck it up and live out the rest of his life. After all Steve needed him, and he wasn’t quite ready to leave the blond behind.

Physical therapy with prosthetics didn’t work for Tony. Both he and Steve had hope, but nothing fit correctly. Every prosthetic Tony tried- even the ones he designed- were too uncomfortable to be worn. All of them rubbed painfully on the small section of leg he had left, and he ended up with friction burns and sores. Even when he wrapped up his legs it didn’t matter. It was even worse when he tried to walk in them. He tried so hard to learn to walk, but he was physically unable. Tony could never catch his balance, the lack of feeling kept him from being able to move them consistently, and he couldn’t stand how ugly they were. After months of trying Tony finally gave up and Steve brought him home in a wheelchair.

Over the next twenty five years Steve had to assist him more often than Tony would’ve liked. Tony refused to move to a home with only one story and didn’t want to move their bedroom to the first floor, so on the days that Tony was too exhausted to pull himself up the stairs Steve had to carry him. Steve had to help him into the bath as well, which only made Tony feel all the more helpless. His condition only worsened with age, and by the time he reached his mid-70s Tony needed Steve to help him almost all the time. He could move his wheelchair by himself, but pulling himself up and down from his chair was too difficult. It made Tony feel like Steve was his mother.

Steve didn’t mind- in fact he seemed to love it- but it made Tony feel pathetic. It wasn’t fun for him to have Steve do almost everything for him. The fact that Steve only looked forty while Tony looked and felt his age only made matters worse.

By his eighty fifth birthday he was ready to die.

***

 “Tony, are you okay? Are you feeling phantom pains again? Steve asked.

Tony snapped out of his deep thought. “Hmm? No, I’m fine. Your magic fingers are just making me tired.”

“Good. Maybe you’ll be able to get a decent night’s rest for a change. Is there anything else you need?” Steve stopped massaging Tony.

“No, I’m all good. On second thought, cuddling sounds pretty nice right now. How about you come here and give your old man what he needs.”

Steve grinned. “That’s what I was hoping for.”

He gave each of Tony’s residual limbs a kiss before crawling up beside him. Steve pulled the blankets up and covered them up to their shoulders before wrapping his arms around Tony. It made Tony feel better to have Steve’s strong, muscular arms cradling him. A feeling of warmth and safety engulfed him, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Tony slipped into a vivid dream.

***

He was still old and in his wheelchair, but he felt happy. Overjoyed, even. Tony was sitting by the window in his bedroom, looking out into the morning sky. It was a beautiful day; the sky was bright blue, there were only a few fluffy white clouds and the birds were flying peacefully. The people in the city below had pep to their step and everyone was smiling. It was wonderful to see so many people in good spirits. It was rare that he saw so many people having great days, and the sight made Tony smile.

When he looked down at his lap, he noticed a small hourglass was resting on it. The parts not made out of glass were black, and the sand was a pale white. Tony placed his hands around it and brought it up to his face. When he examined it he realized there were only a few bits of sand left in the top.

“I know…”

Tony slowly turned his head to the right to see where the voice was coming from. He saw Steve slowly walking up behind him, and a lifeless expression was on his face. Seeing Steve look so dead was strange; even though he often had a serious look on his face he was by no means an emotionless person.

“W-what do you mean, Steve?” Tony stammered.

Steve said nothing. When he reached Tony he moved the wheelchair back, got in front of Tony and knelt down. Tony felt a bit uncomfortable by Steve’s strange actions, but all he could do was watch.

“You’re going to leave me here,” Steve said.

A brief smile flashed on Tony’s face. “When, do you know? Because I’d love to speed this up an-”

Without warning, Steve began to tear up. He wiped away his own tears. Tony tried to touch Steve’s face with one hand, but the blond pushed it away.

“You don’t love me.”

Tony looked puzzled. “Why do you say that? If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t have spent decades with you. Sure you piss me off sometimes but you mean the world to me.”

“Maybe you love me, but you’re not _in love_ with me. Never have been, never will be,” Steve said.

A single tear rolled down Steve’s face. Tony wanted to wipe it away but he didn’t want to risk it; Steve wouldn’t be so kind with the second push.

Steve’s face reddened. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Who is he? She?” Steve asked.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Steve, there’s no one else. I can assure you I’ve been faithful to you this whole time… And I’m dying for God’s sake; you always pick the worst timing,” Tony sighed.

“Don’t lie to me. Is it Pepper? Rhodey? Bruce?”

“Two of those people died long ago and Bruce is my best friend. I can’t believe you would think I’d be in love with dead people! And Bruce... Don’t get me wrong he’s a nice guy but he doesn’t have what you have,” Tony winked.

Steve snapped. “This isn’t the time for jokes!”  

In his anger Steve smacked Tony’s wheelchair. The impact startled Tony and he let go of the hourglass. The hourglass landed on the wood floor and broke, releasing the sand onto the floor. Before Tony could process what was happened he felt a tender kiss on his lips. His eyes closed and he collapsed to the ground. The last thing he heard was Steve gasp.

***

“Tony, rise and shine,” Tony felt a kiss on his forehead.

He opened his eyes and saw Steve looking down at him. There was a sweet smile on Steve’s face. While it was nice to see Steve in a better mood than he was in the dream, Tony was a bit disappointed that he himself had not passed on. Tony could hardly see Steve, even after his love handed him his thick lensed glasses. Nonetheless Steve’s face did make life a little better and gave him the willpower to continue.

“It’s too early, Steve. Wake me up in a few hours.”

Steve grinned. “It’s one in the afternoon. Time to get up.”

Without warning Steve picked Tony up and carried him into the bathroom. A nice warm bath was waiting for him. Steve sat Tony down in a special chair in the bathroom so the brunet could remove his clothes. He needed a little help with his pants but other than that he could take care of it himself.  

After Tony was undressed, Steve helped him into the bathtub.

“What do you want for lunch? I was thinking brunch today,” Steve said.

“Waffles, sausage and hash browns sound like heaven right now, actually,” Tony answered.

Steve kissed him. “I’ll come and get you when everything’s prepared. Turkey sausage okay?”

“I can deal with it. Now hop to it, stud. My stomach’s growling,” Tony patted Steve on the arm.

Steve smiled at Tony and ruffled the brunet’s hair before leaving the bathroom.  

***

After Steve had been gone for ten minutes, the voice Tony heard the night before filled the room. It was rough and gravely, yet soothing and pleasant at the same time. The voice also set Tony a bit on edge; he never knew what to expect when he heard it.

“I saw your dream last night,” the voice said.

Tony was shocked but tried to act nonchalant. “Didn’t know you could break into my head like that… That’s a little stalker-ish, even for you.”

“It may be, but I’m at the point where I don’t want to wait much longer for you. Look, I’m already breaking most of the rules as it is but I can’t take this anymore.”

“What Steve said was right. You know that, I assume,” Tony said.

“That’s the whole reason I’m back again today, Tony. Remember what you asked me last night, sweetheart?” it asked.

“Depends. Going to give me an answer?” Tony responded.

“Make today count,” it answered.

With those words the door opened and the voice vanished. A happy Steve came to bring Tony down to the kitchen.

***

“What would you like to do today, Tony? It’s a beautiful day outside and I think we both could use some fresh air,” Steve said in between bites.

Tony wiped his mouth with a napkin. “You’re right. Let’s do something we haven’t done in a long time.”

“Sure. Any suggestions?”

“I’m thinking a nice stroll through Central Park. It’s been ages since we’ve really gone anywhere because…” Tony motioned to his legs. “But I’m feeling good enough to be out and about for a change.”

Steve placed his hand on Tony’s left leg. “Sounds wonderful,” he smiled.

As they finished eating their lunch, Tony couldn’t help thinking about what the voice said to him. He knew without a doubt that today would be his last. It was important for it to be meaningful.

Tony helped Steve clear the table and clean the dishes before they got ready.

“What scarf, hat, and coat do you want today?” Steve asked as he dried his hands.

“Grey scarf, black pea coat and ditch the hat. My hair’s beautiful today and no way is it getting ruined.”

Steve nodded and went upstairs to grab Tony’s fall garb. As he waited for Steve, the voice made a brief appearance.

“Great choice in clothing… Too bad it’s 2058 and no one wears pea coats anymore. You shouldn’t let Steve buy all your clothes,” the voice teased.

Tony smirked. “Steve’s gotten much better. And a little nostalgia doesn’t hurt an old man like me. Everyone already knows I’m ancient- no amount of makeup could cover these Crows feet up.”

“Were you talking to me, Tony?” Steve asked.

Tony jumped a little in his wheelchair. “J-just talking to myself, Steve. Hurry your ass up, I’m ready to roll,” he put his hands on his wheels.

“Yes sir,” Steve smiled.

***

It’d been so long since Tony was out in the cool, autumn air that it instantly gave him chills. Even though Tony had a warm blanket on his lap, gloves, a nice coat and a scarf it wasn’t enough. Tony just didn’t have the natural insulation that he used to.  

“You were right, Steve. I should’ve worn a hat,” Tony mumbled.

Steve grinned. “I know. That’s why I brought one anyway,” Steve stopped pushing Tony for a moment.

He unzipped the black bag attached to the back of Tony’s wheelchair and pulled out a grey and black tweed newsboy cap.  Steve handed it to Tony so he could put it on himself; he was always afraid that he would help Tony too much and make the brunet feel useless.

Steve began to push the wheelchair again, and they both took in the beautiful scenery. The leaves were changing; deep reds, vibrant oranges and calm yellows colored the tree tops. The sky was a marvelous blue. A lot of couples were walking about hand in hand, and it made both Steve and Tony smile.

At the same time, however, it hurt Tony a little inside. He could never walk and hold Steve’s hand the way they used to. Tony wanted the prosthetic limbs to work so he and Steve could have a normal life after the accident but it just didn’t work out. Their life together hadn’t been the same ever since and Tony felt guilt. Not only for the loss of what used to be, but because he wasn’t as invested in their love as Steve.

Steve could tell something was wrong when Tony stopped talking and wheeled him over to a bench nearby. After he positioned Tony so he was facing the bench Steve sat down on it. They were now looking eye to eye and Steve took Tony’s hands in his.

“I know something’s wrong; what’s the matter?” Steve asked.

Tony looked away. “Steve, has our life together sucked for you because I feel like it has. I kept you from doing so many things you loved. Hell, we can’t even walk side by side! You have to wheel me around and help take care of me because there are so many things I can’t do anymore… Let’s face it you could’ve found someone younger and not a total gimp.”

Steve caressed Tony’s face. “I’ll be honest; sometimes it’s been a real struggle. Seeing you so depressed and feeling like you aren’t worth anything hurts me. But I love you and I made a promise to stay by your side for better or for worse. I didn’t give up and neither did you,” Steve responded.

“I would’ve done the same for you,” Tony said.

Steve leaned in and gave Tony a kiss. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled him closer. The kiss was filled with all the love from their forty long years together, and was by far the sweetest one he’d ever received.  

***

After a few seconds, however, something was… Different. The taste of Steve’s mouth was cold and smoky. It became more teeth and less lip, as if his technique completely changed.

Tony was confused and slowly opened his eyes.

“Time’s up.”

For the first time, Tony was finally able to see who he’d been talking to all these years. Tony knew he was in love with her and had known his whole life, but she was even more beautiful than the paintings made her out to be.

She slowly pulled Tony’s soul out of his body. As he was pulled free, Tony’s body changed to the age that he was the happiest in his life; forty five years old on the day he married Steve. Tony could feel her bringing him up into the air, and as soon as he was completely freed she held him close. The black robe covering her entire body felt soft to the touch. It was thin and he could feel her bony body through the fabric and he loved it. Sure Steve’s body felt wonderful when they were together, but something about hers spoke to him and made him feel an intense longing and desire.

“Are you ready to spend your eternity with me?” Death asked.

Tony smirked, “I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life. You know that more than anyone.”

As they flew together in the sky, Tony looked back at Steve. It broke his heart to see his lifeless corpse wrapped up in Steve’s arms. He was crying out for someone to help him and all while Steve was trying not to cry. It made Tony feel a deep pang of guilt.

Death wrapped her arms snugly around Tony’s body. “Don’t worry, he’ll be okay and is still going to lead a long, wonderful life. I can give you some spoilers about his life instead of you having to wait until you see him again, if you want. I’ve broken rule after rule with you anyway…”

Tony shook his head no. “No. I’d rather hear it from his mouth again someday… But I do want to ask something about him.”

“Yes?”

“Will he find someone who will love him more than I did? Because he deserves a lot more than what I gave him and I know that,” Tony said.

“Just like you, he’s been in love with someone else his whole life, and trust me when the time comes he’ll be as happy as you are now,” she answered.

“Who is she?” he asked.

“His own Reaper, just as you fell in love with yours,” Death answered.

***

The answer was satisfactory to Tony. Death led him into a portal into the sky, and when they arrived on the other side he was surprised to see all of his friends and family waiting with open arms. Each was with their own Deliverers, and they were happy.

Being dead was better than Tony could’ve ever imagined, and he couldn’t wait for Steve to join him someday. That was okay by him; he had all eternity.


End file.
